Are You Self-Aware of Your Strengths and Limitations as a Leader?
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Hi!
According to Dr. Meredith Belbin, "no one is perfect but a team can be".
At
the same time, the difference between a leader and a
manager is that a manager is a job title bestowed by
management, whereas a leader is someone whom is
supported and recognised by her team members.
As such, a true leader
need to be self-aware of her own strengths and weaknesses, as
seen from the perspectives of her team members.
Hence, this
month's topics:
-
Are You Self-Aware
of Your Strengths and Limitations as a Leader?; and
-
Self-Awareness and Conflict Resolution
This issue's
main article is on "Are You Self-Aware of Your Strengths and Limitations as a Leader?", and we
will share with you some actual cases how the lack of
self-awareness causes unnecessary conflicts and
breakdown in communication, and how you can avoid such
things from happening for you.
In brief:
To read the rest of this newsletter, pls.
click here (http://www.psycheselling.com/page4.html).
Are You Self-Aware of Your Strengths and Limitations as a Leader?
by c.j. Ng
Chantelle is caught in a fix recently. Her direct
report, Tina, hasn't been showing a
positive attitude at
work recently and Chantelle's been trying to give her
feedback to Tina about her recent poor performance.
Unfortunately for Chantelle, instead of responding
positively to her feedback, Tina went to lodge a
complaint of ill-treatment to Chantelle's boss, John.
And instead of viewing the issue objectively, John
thought that Chantelle has been mistreating Tina, and
intervened in the matter without first consulting with
Chantelle. In a nut shell, John transferred Tina
to another department with lesser work load, and put it
on record that Chantelle needs help in her people
management skills.
John's actions obviously upsets
Chantelle, whom thinks that she did not do any wrong,
but was treated unfairly. She began to think that
John is jealous of her achievements, and is trying to
make her look bad so as to pass her over for the
promotion that was due to her.
In response to John's action, Chantelle decided to be as uncooperative as possible at work.
The Mistakes that Leaders Make
In the above case, it will be
clear from an objective observer that:
-
John should not have intervened into his
subordinate's subordinate's matter, not at least
without consulting with Chantelle before doing
so. This not only undermines Chantelle's
authority, but it will also send a wrong signal
to other staff that they could bypass their
immediate superiors and go to John directly;
-
Chantelle, being a manager, should know better
that her uncooperative attitudes towards her
immediate superior, is not really the right
behaviour that a leader should possess
The above is
but one of the many real cases of mistakes
that leaders or managers make in a team setting.
The bigger
issues are:
-
Many managers/ leaders
are not aware of their mistakes in the first
place;
-
Some become defensive
and brush off feedback (from either team members
or peers or even superiors) that point out their
mistakes; and
-
A minor few can be
delusional that they are immune from making any
mistakes!
In an age
where leaders and their teams are more interdependent,
and work that is getting more collaborative, today's
leaders need to really get objective feedback on how
they can be better leaders, and how they can support
their team better. In fact, according to Dr.
Meredeith Belbin, "no one is perfect but a team can be".
After all, the
key difference between a leader and a manager is that a
manager is a job title bestowed by a higher authority,
whereas a leader is measured by the support and
recognition given by the team. If this sound
overly New-Age, here are some quotes from the military:
-
"Authority is given,
but respect is earned" is an often quote in
military leadership training. Sure, a
subordinate can be punished for insubordination,
but if someone does not respect you, that means
you haven't earned his respect yet;
-
In other words, you can
only be truly aware of your strengths and
limitations, of the things you did right and the
mistakes you have made, through feedback.
How do You Distinguish Good vs. Bad Feedback
Some leaders' concern about feedback is that some team
members make use of feedback as a means to provide
excuses.
Here are some tips on
how you can distinguish between good and bad feedback:
-
-
Did the person giving
the feedback tried to improve the overall
situation for your and the organisation, or did
he merely try to get a selfish gain
-
Did the person give
only positive feedback, and omit all honest
constructive criticism?
As leaders, you don't really have to argue or clarify
too much, IF you deem the feedback as irrelevant or
misunderstood. All you need to do is to show
empathy and gratitude that someone, be they your team
member, superior or external partner actually bothered
to take time to give you the feedback. If the
feedback is useful, use it. If not, simply thank
and acknowledge it, and then move on.
In one of the worst real cases, the managing director of
a company was so unaware of his limitations, and
totally brushed aside all forms of feedback that could
have helped with the situation. Eventually, most
of the
loyal team members who were also key contributors
left the company, simply because they were totally
disappointed with their boss's attitude.
What did that managing director do after those key
employees left? Did he go on to reflect how he
could have handled the situation better?
Unfortunately, no. In fact, he called those who
left the company "Rice Christians", a derogatory term
for people who show up to get paid without contributing
anything.
Ultimately, it will be
the leader/ manager who will suffer if she does not have
the self-awareness to know where his limitations are,
and how he could learn from his past mistakes. He
will get less contributions from team members over time,
and will eventually lose out to competitors who are
better in harnessing the wisdom of their teams.
Achieving Self-Awareness in an Objective Way
While
proactively getting feedback from your team might be a
good way to gain self-awareness on what you have done
well, as well as what you could have done better.
Sometimes, though, you may need a more systematic view
of what are some of inherent strengths and limitations,
so that you can play to your strengths and then build a
team who will make up for your limitations.
The
Belbin Team Role Profile is perhaps the only online assessment
tool that allows you to gain self-awareness of your
strengths and limitations of your team leadership by
combining the results of your self-perspective, with the
observations of a number of observers who work closely
with you.
Based on the assessment results, leaders and managers
could then:
-
Map out a developmental plan to optimise their
strengths, and be aware of their limitations;
-
Seek ways to communicate and work effectively with
others with similar or different Team Roles
Profiles; and
-
Work with a team with diversified Team Role Profiles
to make it into a perfect team.
If you work in an environment or culture that it is rare
or even awkward for team members to provide direct
feedback to the team leader, the Belbin Team Role
Profile will be a convenient tool for leaders and
managers to gain self-awareness through a 360-feedback
easily.
Need help in
improving your self-awareness so that you can be
a more effective leader? Simply e-mail
info@directions-consulting.com or
call +86-136 7190 2505 or Skype:
cydj001 and arrange to buy me a mocha. All
information shall be kept in confidence.
Power Breakfast Hour:
14 Aug 2013
Are You Self-Aware of Your Strengths and Limitations as a Leader
-
Why Managers/ Leaders need to be
self-aware of their strengths and limitations to be
more effective;
-
Real-life case studies on
managers/ leaders who are not self-aware, and the
negative consequences that follow;
-
How to improve leadership self-awareness in simple,
objective yet practical ways, in all kids of
cultural environment.
VENUE: Crowne Plaza Shanghai • 400 Panyu
Road (near Fahuazhen Road) • 上海银星皇冠酒店 •
番禺路 400 号 (靠法华镇路)
DATE: Wednesday, 14 Jul 2013
TIME: 08:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.
PRICE: RMB 200 ONLY!
To make this a more conducive
discussion, we are expecting a small
group of about 15 people only. The room
can only take in 18, so please register
early to avoid disappointments. Please
e-mail your registrations to
sales@directions-consulting.com
Pls. check out our web sites
www.directions-consulting.com
and
www.psycheselling.com/page4.html for
more inspiration.
Tips for Managers:
Self-Awareness and Conflict
Resolution
Peter Vajda
"Knowing thyself" is an in-depth understanding of "who I
am" and "how I am". This understanding of one's self is
the product of the formal and informal experiences of
living life. But, to be clear, this understanding is not
the result of simply "having" experiences, but is the
result of deep, consistent and conscious reflection on
one's experiences - the lessons learned, be they the
good, the bad or the ugly.
Self-awareness occurs as the result of experiencing some
sort of inner or outer conflict which tugs on our sleeve
and forces us to change. One of the results of such
transformation is that we often change our value system
which is reflected in new ways of thinking, being and
doing.
Examples of experiences that bring us to "know thyself"
include mid-life crises (which, by the way, are
affecting people at earlier and earlier ages today, no
longer just in middle age), health issues, relationship
issues, career issues, financial issues and mental,
emotional or psychological issues.
At work
In the workplace, organizational awareness is the
totality of each employee's self-awareness. Where
employees are more self-aware, workplace conflict can be
minimal and constructive. But in an environment where
the majority of employees are non-self-aware, conflict
can be insidious, toxic, all-pervasive and destructive.
The bottom line is that the way your organization,
department or team handles interpersonal conflict can
either be an experience of vitality, collegiality, and
camaraderie, or toxicity, demoralization, resentment,
disrespect, resistance, and derailment.
When folks' attitudes, beliefs, and values are in
alignment, their behaviours are consonant and supportive
of departmental, team and organizational goals.
However, when one is driven by self-limiting and
self-defeating personal biases, prejudices, beliefs,
assumptions and "stories" - all of which are unspoken
and often unconscious - discord often rules and ruins
the day, ruins the meeting, ruins the processes and
ruins relationships until folks agree to "out the
elephants" in the room and consciously deal with the
dysfunctional behaviours that underlie conflict.
"Soft skills"
When leaders, managers and supervisors have the strength
and courage to understand and agree that "soft skills"
are the "hard skills" of effective relationships at work
(and do the work that's required to bring people to that
level of awareness), defensiveness, resistance, turf and
ego issues will begin to melt. In their place, people
will begin to feel, and be, freer in their behaviours and
attitudes in a way that fosters greater mutual respect.
The process of knowing thyself begins when one
consciously explores "how I am" and "who I am" when it
comes to "the way I am", i.e., the way I communicate and
interact, with others.
Self-mastery explores things like:
-
my verbal and non verbal behaviours,
-
my emotional behaviours - how I express my feelings and
emotions
-
my intentions underlying my behaviours - my hidden
agendas, or disharmony where what I "do" is out of
alignment with what I "say"
How do I "know myself?"
"Know thyself" requires taking a conscious look at how I
experience myself at work and how I experience my
interactions with others. Self-mastery requires us to
examine the disconnects that exist between what we say,
think, feel and do - disconnects that lead to being out
of harmony and integrity, and to being unethical and
disrespectful (in thought and action) that result in
counterproductive patterns of behavior, and conflict.
"Know thyself" requires taking a conscious look at why,
for example, I need to lie, cheat, steal, bully, gossip,
and be disagreeable, disrespectful, resistant,
non-trusting, sabotaging, discourteous, and insensitive.
Some questions for self-reflection
-
How would I rate myself on a scale of 1(low) to 10(high)
on the following: (a) my being a team player; (b) my
relationships with others; (c) how much I trust others;
(d) the quality of my communication efforts with others;
and (e) my attitude?
-
On a scale of 1 to 10, how self-aware am I of my
feelings and emotions?
-
Do I believe life is a "zero-sum" game - that if others
"get theirs" I won't get "mine"? If so, why? And, if so,
has this attitude brought me more pain or happiness in
my life?
-
Do my relationships manifest trust, dignity and respect?
-
Am I harboring grudges from the past? If so, why?
-
Do I live my life based on the "oughts" and "shoulds" of
others? If so, why?
-
Do I have counterproductive habits and patterns I am
afraid to release? If, yes, why?
-
Are my relationships at work characterized as task
orientation or relationship orientation"?
"Know thyself" requires taking a conscious look at
"where I'm coming from" and whether "where I'm coming
from" is supportive or limiting to the team, department
and my organization.
The bottom line of knowing thyself when it comes to
conflict is this: conflict is rarely the result of
"technical" issues. Most often, conflict is based on
some underlying fear and is an interpersonal,
psycho-emotional dynamics issue.
"Task orientation" and "people orientation"
People can relate to one another on the basis of a "task
orientation" or on the basis of a "relationship
orientation". Task orientation centres around functions,
roles and business strategies and tactics. Relationship
orientation centres around trust, safety, understanding,
respect and sensitivity.
Effective conflict resolution must rest on the fulcrum
of relationship orientation, on people, not processes.
Organizational self-awareness occurs when the majority
of employees are engaged, consciously, from the
perspective of relationship orientation, i.e., "who I
am" and "how I am" and not solely on "what I do".
A self-aware person is one who examines the quality of
his/her interpersonal relationships in an on-going
manner. A self-aware organization is one that examines
the quality of its interpersonal dynamic on a regular
basis.
To be an effective leader, manager or supervisor, this
on-going exploration that leads to supporting people to
actively and consciously engage in their personal growth
would serve us well in an effort to reduce the negative
effects of workplace conflict.
Focusing on the "technical" alone won't do it; never
has, never will.
To find out how you develop good self-awareness skills
to be a more effective leader,
you can e-mail
info@directions-consulting.com
or call +86-136 7190 2505 or Skype:
cydj001
About
Directions Management Consulting
Directions Management Consulting is the
partner of
LeadershipIQ in China and
Asia.
LeadershipIQ helps more than
125,000 leaders every year through the
facts drawn from one of the largest
ongoing leadership studies ever
conducted is used to help companies
apply resources where the best possible
results be achieved.
In addition, Directions Management
Consulting is a leading provider of
sales performance, innovation and
experiential learning solutions in China
and many parts of Asia.
Psycheselling.com
is the sales performance arm of Directions
Management Consulting specialising in
conducting training, research and
consulting services for sales managers
and their team.
Raybattle is the strategic
partner of Directions Management
Consulting specialising in experiential
learning events and management retreats.
Currently, Directions Management Consulting
has served clients such as
GSK, InterContinental Hotels Group, Unilever,
Bristol-Myers Squibb, Roche, Philips
Lighting, Carrier, Ingersoll Rand,
Freudenberg etc.
Through collaboration with consultancies
such as
Forum Corporation,
MTI,
de Bono China,
ProWay
etc., the consultants in Directions
Management Consulting have served
clients such as PwC, Volks Wagon, Air Products, Evonik, Wacker, Epson amongst others.
Directions Management Consulting will
increase its efforts to conduct
leadership studies in China and other
parts of Asia, so that more companies
apply resources where the best possible
results be achieved in this part of the
world.
Enquiries and suggestions, pls. e-mail
info@directions-consulting.com or visit
www.directions-consulting.com
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